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Over 7 million attendees — 14× more people attended than both inaugurations combined!
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Take a Stand Against Fascism This article is not satire In the wake of another big tech company paying off tyrant President Lardass, boycotting big tech companies like Google, Amazon, and Facebook is a powerful way to express dissatisfaction with their practices, especially when they seem to cater to authoritarian regimes. Just as the cancellation…
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Tylenol Is Terrible, But Lardass Is Much Worse for Public Health Researchers have concluded that Lardass, known for ICE deportations, rising prices, and job losses, is responsible for a staggering 99.9% of all headaches reported in the past year. While the pharmaceutical giant Tylenol has been under scrutiny for its potential dangers, particularly for children,…
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Lardass McBully approval ratings have plummeted to historic lows. In the early days of his presidency, each Lardass post a masterpiece of mean-spiritedness and victimhood. “I’m the best president ever!” he would proclaim, while his followers nodded in agreement, their eyes glazed over with devotion. They loved his bravado, his ability to insult anyone who…
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Super Cunt Attorney General Pam Bondi announced in a podcast with Kate Miller, the wife of bald asshole super white supremacist Stephen Miller, that she will “come after those who engage in hate speech”. “There’s free speech and then there’s hate speech. And there’s no place, especially now, especially after what happened to Charlie [Kirk],…
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Dry Tear Duct Outbreak Reported, Epidemic Expected to Last a Year Medical professionals have reported a dramatic increase in cases of dry tear ducts among liberals across the nation. This has been attributed to the relentless barrage of political turmoil, deportations, attacks on free speech, and the rule of law. Dr. Tammy Pon, a leading…
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Attendees at the memorial service for conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk will be treated to a series of hugs instead of the traditional 21-gun salute. Organizers are calling it a new era of “compassionate conservatism,” with many expecting a series of executive order gun regulations to prevent future shootings. As the service commenced, a banner reading…
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Screen Actors Guild has remains silent Hollywood, CA – When it comes to the portrayal of mass shooters, the trend remains disturbingly consistent: nearly every school shooting features a white male. “It’s absurd,” said an African American community leader. We’re constantly being separated into groups and labeled with racist comments, but when it comes to…
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Atlanta, GA – The ghost of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has expressed profound offense at being compared to conservative commentator Charlie Kirk in The New York Times. The spectral figure, who has been haunting the halls of history since his assassination in 1968, reportedly found the comparison bewildering. “Honestly, I thought we had left…
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The Charlie Kirk assassination is the result of a violent and cruel administration — a tragedy and a sad day in our descent into violence. Let’s not forget Lardass led the January 6 insurrection, and his party has supported such shootings for decades, fighting all gun regulations. Last week’s two school shootings (Annunciation and Evergreen)…
President Lardass Throws His Weight
The crime family now has ultimate power, and you gave it to him.
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