FBI Issues Warning: Seniors Targeted by by Fox News

By Nguyen Ayi

Washington, D.C. – The FBI has issued a warning about a sophisticated scam targeting vulnerable seniors, forget the fake tech support calls or the phony bank representatives; this scam is far more insidious. It involves a complex network of Fox News affiliates that have been pumping fear into the hearts of seniors across the nation, turning them against their own neighbors and even their long-time caretakers.

The FBI’s report highlights how these affiliates have created a climate of paranoia, convincing seniors that immigrants are lurking around every corner, ready to steal their Medicare benefits and their beloved garden gnomes. “It’s a classic case of fear-mongering,” said an FBI spokesperson. “Seniors are being manipulated into believing that their housekeepers, like Maria, who has been with them for 20 years, are secretly plotting to overthrow their bingo nights.”

The FBI’s investigation revealed that the most dangerous individuals in these communities are not the immigrants or the alleged criminals, but rather the misinformed Fox News viewers who have been brainwashed into believing that every unfamiliar face is a potential threat. “We’ve seen a rise in neighborhood watch groups that are more like neighborhood witch hunts,” the spokesperson added. “These groups are often led by seniors who have been watching too much Fox News and are convinced that their next-door neighbor is a secret agent for the ‘immigrant invasion.’”

The FBI has noted that many seniors are now more afraid of their caretakers than they are of actual crime. “Maria has been with me through thick and thin,” said 82-year-old Harold Jenkins, clutching a baseball bat. “But after watching the news, I can’t help but wonder if she’s just waiting for the right moment to strike. I mean, she’s from a different country, after all.”

Experts warn that this fear-driven narrative is not only harmful but also detrimental to the mental health of seniors. “It’s creating a toxic environment where trust is eroded,” said Dr. Linda Hartman, a psychologist specializing in senior care. “Instead of enjoying their golden years, many seniors are living in a state of constant anxiety, all thanks to a news network that thrives on fear.”

“Encourage them to turn off the TV and take a walk in their neighborhood,” the spokesperson advised. “They might just find that Maria is not the enemy, but rather the one who makes the best empanadas in town.”