Atlanta, GA – The ghost of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has expressed profound offense at being compared to conservative commentator Charlie Kirk in The New York Times. The spectral figure, who has been haunting the halls of history since his assassination in 1968, reportedly found the comparison bewildering. “Honestly, I thought we had left the whole sheet-wearing thing behind; this is an extra slap in the face,” said the ghost of King, floating through the air with an air of indignation. “I mean, if I have to wear this to defend my legacy, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.”

The controversy erupted when Kirk’s mourners, known for their pro-gun rhetoric and racially charged commentary, likened Kirk’s assassination to King’s iconic legacy. “They threw my name in there like Lardass picking an administration appointee. Did anyone even read my ‘Letter from Birmingham Jail’? Did they stop playing my speeches in schools?”

King’s ghost, who has been a staunch advocate for civil rights and social justice, found the comparison particularly galling. “I fought for equality, justice, and the right to be heard, not for some kid to twist my words into a pro-gun manifesto,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

In a bid to reclaim his legacy, King’s ghost has taken to social media, trying to learn how to use Truth Social through the beady eyes of the white sheet. “Dear America, if you’re going to invoke my name, at least do it with some respect. I didn’t march for you to wave guns around and preach division.”

Meanwhile, Kirk’s mourners have doubled down on their comments, insisting that he is merely trying to carry on King’s legacy of fighting for freedom. “We’re just saying what needs to be said,” they stated, oblivious to the ghostly figure rolling its eyes in the background. “If Dr. King were alive today, he’d be on my side!”

The ghost of MLK hopes that his message of unity and justice will prevail and sees some signs of hope. “I felt like a hypocritical idiot with these ghost sheets, but some new guy is here stuck in the holding area, and I heard all he has on is some dumb red cap. Let’s get back to the dream, folks!” he concluded, floating off into the ether, leaving behind a trail of hope and a lingering sense of disbelief.